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george washington rises from the dead
"you done fucked up"
"the fuck did i tell you about political parties"
"I SAID FOUR GODDAMN THINGS, AMERICA. POLITICAL PARTIES ARE DANGEROUS. PAY OFF THE FUCKING DEBT. ISOLATIONISM! AND FREE FUCKING TRADE! SO WHAT DO YOU DO? ‘OH LET’S SPLIT THE GOVERNMENT! LET’S SPEND WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH! LET’S MAKE ALLIANCES!’ GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AMERICA! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I WILL TURN THIS COUNTRY AROUND.
I ORDERED PIZZA AND OPENED THE DOOOR WEARING MY CAMP TAKOTA SHIRT AND THE GUY DELIVERING THE PIZZA LOOKED AT MY SHIRT AND AFTER HANDING ME MY PIZZA AND ME PAYING HIM LOOKED AT ME AND WENT ‘HARTBIG IS MY OTP’ AND RAN OFF MY PORCH.
I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER. OH MY GOD.
THIS IS GREAT.
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